Umwana va myago ye mwana vako. (Bena) Mtoto wa mwenzako ni mtoto wako. (Swahili) L’enfant de votre collègue est le vôtre. (French) Your colleague’s child is your child. (English)

 

Bena(Tanzania) Proverb

Background, Meaning and Everyday Use

 

This proverb is used by the people of the Bena Ethnic Group. It encourages unity and cooperation in raising a child. About 1,322,000, the Wabena are in Tanzania. They are found in the Njombe Region. The Wabena, like other ethnic groups in Tanzania, have different cultures, sayings, proverbs and stories that are used in teaching their generations. They have five dialects that are used and vary in speaking according to the places where they live.

 

The Wabena are famous in teaching good morals to their children. For example, the Wabena confess and believe that their legacy — that will make them recognized and loved by many — is to raise a child in good morals so the children grow up in great discipline and respect that goes along with working for hard work and to bring solidarity and unity in the community.

In the beginning these Bena families were living far apart — from one family to another family. In this situation each of the families was struggling to raise their children and set regulations and rules for themselves that were different from other families, so there was a great lack of understanding that perhaps caused marriages to break.

 

Because of this, the Chief of the Bena decided to call a meeting of the elders who gathered together and held a joint discussion on how to protect, maintain and take care of their culture. They agreed that every parent and each person should realize that their colleague’s child is his or her child wherever they see and meet them. Then they created this proverb: Your colleague’s child is your child. In this sense even the children respected each parent as their own parent.

 

This proverb is compared to families who until today maintain a good culture of upbringing regardless of whose child it is. It is also compared to the humble people who live with the Bena and like to draw this wealth of upbringing mixing it with their good traditions in the upbringing of the child. They differ from those who are proud and see that these customs are outdated and do not accept to learn anything.

 

This proverb is likened to people of families who are unstable and careless, who like to live alone and think they don’t need others in the care of children. They continue every day to lose their good traditions and customs and instead imitate the bad ones and thus destroy the whole moral system of children in society and even adults.

Biblical Parallels

Proverb 22:6: “Bring up the child in the right way, and he will not leave you, even when he or she is old.”

Luke 2:52:“Jesus grew in wisdom and stature pleasing God and people.”

Deuteronomy 6:7: “Teach your children diligently. Speak to them when you are in the house and when you walk on the road and when you sleep and when you leave.”

Contemporary Use And Religious Application

 

This proverb teaches people to be united and to repeat their good customs, to stick together in the whole matter of the upbringing and development of a child especially in today’s world. These days we gather with our colleagues in Small Christian Communities. Let us go with our children to the SCCs. Then go through the teachings and the help they will hear in these gatherings. The children can be strengthened not only personally but spiritually and morally as well.

 

The Bishops of AMECEA in their meetings encourage and strengthen the growth of Small Christian Communities in Africa that is a whole system of cooperation and unity, reading the Word of God and finding a way to live that Word. These are the challenges we have to strengthen our children in Christian teachings and social values.

 

This proverb about children and families is especially timely as the delegates from Africa who are participating in the Second Session of the Synod in Rome in October 2024 plan to  highlight the importance of the family as the Domestic Church and the Church Family of God.

 

 

Text by:

 

Sister Felisia Mbifile, SCSF

Rome, Italy

Phone No: +254792229035

Email: felisiambifile@gmail.com

 

 

Photographs by:

Rev. Zakaria Kashinje, OSA
Dar es Salaam, Tanzania
Cellphones:
+255-756-887787 Vodacom
+255-717-3337787 Tigo
+255-786-337787 Airtel
Email: zkashinje@gmail.com
zkashinje@yahoo.co.uk